The "R" word

“I want you to know that it hurts to be left out here, alone…Nothing scares me as much as feeling all alone in a world that moves so much faster than I do.” –John Franklin Stephens.

In more than one tweet Ann Coulter called President Obama a "retard". While many people called the comments "offensive and disrespectful", one man took it another step. John Franklin Stephens wrote a response to Coulter on a Special Olympics blog. He inquired as to why she would use such the word in such a shallow way, intended to insult. It is quite commendable that Stephens, a special Olympics athlete with Down Syndrome, who is so personally attached to the offensive remarks from Coulter was able to keep a positive message throughout his entire letter. He recognized that it is not just Coulter, but society as a whole that uses the R-word in such a way as an insult. He recognizes the dangers of the word and why it needs to be eradicated from not just her's, but everyone's vocabulary. It would be so easy to lose one's temper over an issue such as this but he keeps his cool and responds to her with an open arms approach, trying to help her understand why it is offensive and teach her a true meaning of the word.

A Catholic elementary school, St. Mark Elementary School, recently set a great example, especially Catholic schools but for all schools really. They held a rally to take the pledge to "spread the word to end the word." Joe Thomas, a professional football player for the Cleveland Browns, attended the rally and spoke to the crowd. He suggested replacing the meaning of the R-word to be respect and the "respect everybody, no matter who they are." Attending St. Mark is Brianna, a young girl with Down Syndrome. One teacher describes her as "a breath of fresh air." The school has set the standard for other Catholic schools to recognize that their job is not just to provide an education to "normal" children, but every child no matter of background or in this case mental capacity. Schools without a direct link to the "R-word", a student, faculty, or family member with a mental disability, should still follow this example to stand up to "Spread the Word to End the Word!"

The "R-word" wasn't always used as a derogatory term. It has evolved over the years to become a word that has a negative, insulting connotation. Just like how the word "gay" has somehow become a synonym for stupid, so was "retarded". One proponent of the campaign to end the R-word says "This word is only meant to describe conditions in the brain, and i believe it's the appropriate use of the word. As a society, we tend to judge anything we don't understand." She is right. Most people don't understand what it is to have a mental disability and over time the word has evolved to become this negative, insulting thing that is synonymous with stupid and dumb. Used in the proper way, the word is not insulting, not negative, not hurtful, nothing to be scared of.

The "R-word" actually hurts. Those with a mental illness or that know someone who has one, or even if they have no personal connection at all can easily be offended when this term is used inappropriately in a negative way. One mother of a child with an intellectual disability describes hearing the word as a bomb. She called it "That judgmental, dismissive, last-century word." She is right. It is ignorant to use the word in such a way and it must be stopped. The word isn't used in a way that reflects its true meaning and offends any who hear it. But most importantly it affects those who actually have a mental disability. It isolates them, demeans them, and puts them down. Another Mother says that the word perpetuates negative stereotypes about mental disabilities as well as horrible labels. She says "the disrespectful names that they are called or terms that people around us use very loosely." She poses a good point that many people don't really get the repercussions of using such language. 

I, personally, never use the "R-word". I also try to reprimand my friends whenever they do. Just hearing the word offends me and I have absolutely no personal connection to it. It is just purely used as  an offensive term against those that have no control over their own condition and they are isolated for absolutely no reason. It is not their fault and it is not something that is anyone's fault. Sticks and stones do break bones and words can hurt me.